All About My Mother

You and I think a like

I don’t feel we should call this guy at all. I mean what is he going to tell us? W is his client? He can’t discuss his client’s case with us. Dh is really concerned about w’s behavior and concerned she’ll get violent. I don’t think she’s that stupid or that brave.

Your sil is so busy burying herself

I would just sit back and let her continue doing so. I would not call the “lawyer”, even if he is one. Whatever the guy’s motives, if I was a bettin’ person, I’d bet they are not good. As far as sil, the old saying applies:
The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.
Try to take a moment to turn out the lights, sit down in your favorite chair, relax and close your eyes. You don’t have to sleep but just take a little time to relax. It won’t make it all this go away but it may help you remain calm and relaxed and keep a clear head.

Wow.. Just… wow

I sure hope this wraps up soon. It sounds like SIL has a real fire under her butt to get that money. And since we’re quoting dearly deceased relatives, my grandmother always told me that when a person rushes into something, or hurries something along, they’re going to make mistakes. SIL may have already made a few but she sure isn’t slowing down her pace. I expect she’ll be making a few more. Perhaps watch for those Millie moments, even talk to your broker about what would constitute an “illegal mistake” or some-such, and then let her walk right into it.

A lawyer called the broker

And left a message wanting to know about the account and if dmil could get at least half of it without dh’s permission. Broker didn’t talk to him and won’t. He called dh and told him what was going on. It sounded like a fishing expedition to us. Broker wanted us to know that he wasn’t certain it was even a lawyer because in the nearly 40 years he’s been a broker he’s never had such a call.
I looked up the name of the broker on the internet and he’s a job counseling lawyer. No estate planning or anything like that. I have a feeling sil did a legal aid 30 minute one free phone call free deal.
Broker suggested dh calling the guy and just listening to what he had to say then hang up. I reminded dh that lawyers record everything and that my daddy always told me the person who makes the first move in a negotiation always loses. I also pointed out this was not a settlement offer but a fishing expedition. So we’ll see what sil’s next move is. Hopefully it’s not a violent one, dh is worried about that. In the meantime, we’re working on getting dmil out of there.

In addition to the suggestion to contact the BBB

and/or any Consumer Products Commissioner your city/county/state might have, I’d encourage you to “kick it up a notch” in publicity. Companies sometimes ignore government finger-wagging but they can’t ignore public pressure. I seem to recall that several SoCal television stations and newspapers had consumer advocates who would do stories about folks taken advantage of like this. Put that company under the spotlight of public scrutiny, and many times you’ll either get your money back very quickly, or better service, or both. There is zero reason why you should continue to be billed by these folks for half-a$$ work, AND allow them to continue to call the shots. Turn loose one of those reporters on them, and they’ll very likely get very cooperative, very quickly. Particularly if you are Ms. Reasonable and all you want is to end the contract. That’s a heckuva lot easier for them to do than go back and provide additional services or a refund.

Also, with your bank, you can inform them that you are involved in a dispute over contractual services rendered, and that the ongoing debit of $30/month is no longer authorized. I have had to do that once in awhile, and it’s usually not a big deal. They will want to know a) the company name, b) the recurring amount, and c) the date it usually is debited. If the bank is like ours was, they will put an electronic block on your account that prevents that particular amount, from that particular company, from being withdrawn. And I’d certainly think that “in a dispute” with the company is an accurate, honest representation on your part that these funds really aren’t authorized anymore. It certainly wouldn’t hurt to call the bank and at least try to get them stopped. Might be easier than you think. If nothing else, it will give you some time to remedy the situation with them, and let them know you aren’t have a few tools in your own toolbox, to force some negotiations. If they threaten to sue for it, threaten to take them to small claims court with plenty of photos and/or documentation of the work they have or have not done. That also usually gets a company’s attention. No one wants to go to small claims court.

All I can think of for now

Have you had any luck asking to speak to a manger or someone higher up the chain? Was it a local or national? You might want to look into contacting your state’s Attorney General or Better Business Bureau complaint. Our state has a formal process I believe. They may help mediate the issue…

Four walls first

If you don’t have the money for the spraying, you don’t have it. I’d certainly cancel the automatic debit with the bank. If they can’t spray right what makes you certain they can debit properly? I know you don’t want to be hassled by them, but seriously what are they going to do to you for $99? Heck just billing you for it would cost them more and do it. I’d send them a letter and state what you have stated below and tell them they have broken contract with you.

Local company

It took 3 visits (versus the 1 they told me it would take) to “finish” they job because according to them “they weren’t prepared with the right equipment.”
Yeah, I can tell it might have taken a lot of specialized equipment to knock down the dead wasp nests (they did a walk around when they bid the job out to begin with) and to pick up the dead wasps nests and put them in the trash or take them with them.
The last time they showed up to “work and spray” without an appointment, it was RAINING, and I mean a near deluge. I was like, really. You want me to let you on to my property in the rain, so you can spray, and have everything wash off just so you can bill me for it???
That’s pretty much been the tone of the company. Do as little as possible, what little is done is done poorly, but we’re going to hold you to YOUR written part of the contract.

For my MIL

the assisted living place she is looking at requires you buy a unit that costs about $175K (others are more expensive, but she cannot go into an apartment or house) and then the cost is $4200 per month. That is the skilled care nursing part of the facility. Her diagnosis is Alzheimer’s so she cannot go into a lower cost facility. From the until purchase price, 95% of that will be refunded to her heirs when she dies. (We are going with the assumption she will stay there until death.)

Other places don’t require a unit purchase and the monthly cost is higher, often between $6K and $7K per month for Alzheimer’s.

That does not include doctor visits, prescription medication and such. It would included meals, laundry, utilities, usually transportation to local stores and sometimes doctor visits, recreational facilities on site and the nursing care you need.

During the retirement planing she and FIL did, knowing that FIL’s cancer was terminal and they planned on how to invest his life insurance to make sure her retirement was comfortable, they always figured that if she needed nursing home care that she could sell the house and that would cover it. What no-one anticipated was that she would develop Alzheimer’s at 76, knowing that both her parents lived past 90 so it is feasible that she may need 15 to 20 years in a skill care nursing home. 20 years at $6K per month is $1.45 million.

Mark discusses LTC insurance and says he wouldn’t recommend

it to anyone under the age of 60 but he feels it is important to have. He mentions a friend of his who thought it was a waste of money and 2 years later his wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s . You just never know. I think LTC also covers in home care. My inlaws didn’t get it and they both ended up needing care. Luckily, they invested wisely and had money to cover expenses so for those who have great investments, it might be okay without the insurance.

I know it’s my own fault, BUT..

So i just got off the phone with the pest control company. I’ve had a problem with their service from day 1 (literally. they half did the job and called it done.) Their position since then has been pretty much “Well, if you’re unhappy cancel the contract. There’s a $180 cancellation fee.” (why do I get the feeling that’s pretty much the way they work it?)

Anyway, I have 3 $99 treatments left in my contract. I was hoping with DH being out of work, the company would be willing to negotiate a lower get of out contract rate. Nope.

My choices are:

1. Pay the $180 flat out (something I had actually planned on doing before DH got fired.);
2. Get $1000 personal loan from;
3. Keep the contract, and have them “auto debit” $33 every month for the next 9 months or so.

The hairs on the back of my little DR head are just standing up. This is how it’s so easy to be in debt, because we can “afford the payments” versus the single purchase.


I sent a website the other day with this issue

It says the average cost of skilled nursing care (Nursing home) is 168.00 per day. Assisted day cares are of course cheaper, but they don’t necessarily have medication management components. Plus day care would mean that you would quite possibly need someone for night care etc.

For me I have no children, and if I did, its not their responsibility to care for me or I would never make it their responsibility to…so I really feel strongly about researching options NOW while I’m still able.

Also my quote for LTC insurance was for 100% coverage, but you can buy degrees of coverage, like 50% a day, 25% a day, medications components etc.

OUCH is right!

$350 x 12 months = $4200 a year. Let’s say you don’t need it til you’re 70 and start subscribing at age 35. That is 35 years at $4200 a year = $147,000 that you put into the long term care insurance plan (and that does not include any interest).

I guess my next question is, how much does long term care cost?

How much does this long term care insurance cost?

I know you can’t give out exact figures, but what would a ballpark figure be for someone who is now 40? 60? At some point, it just isn’t worth it. For example, my dad is 72 and needs this kind of care. He obviously wouldn’t qualify for this insurance now. I’m 38 and totally healthy so I’m sure I would qualify. So at what age does it not become cost-effective?

The problem with Long Term Care Insurance is that it is so high priced

Its almost cost prohibative for people to enter into as their near retirement and if you have the thought to get in to in at a younger age, you feel like you’re just spending your money on nothing. I work for the State Division of Aging Services… we see the baby boomers enter our programs in droves and we advocate for Long Term Care Insurance by even creating a separate program to do so, but the cost is extraordinary. I priced it out a couple of years ago for myself… I was 34 or 35 at the time, non smoker, no chronic health problems out of the ordinary etc and it was around 350 bux per month premium. OUCH. I can only imagine that it would be higher if I was 50…. Needless to say, its a hard sale to convince anybody.

Long term care insurance

I work in a retirement community that offers assisted living and a specialized unit for those with Alzheimer’s or related dementias. I highly recommend getting long term care insurance. This coverage works for assisted living as well as nursing home care. Most of my residents do not have long term care insurance but I know many baby boomers who are being proactive and investing early. I think Dave recommends it for anyone 50 and over.

Here’s another little known tip for those dealing with elderly parents. If your dad (or mom) was a veteran during a time of war and was honorably discharged, there is a program through the VA called the Aide and Assistance program. This benefit extends to spouses of veterans as well. Coverage includes assisted living and nursing home care and many people are unaware of it. There are certain financial criteria that need to be met but some of my residents are getting over $1000 per month toward their care. Contact your local VA office for details.

See how smart you are

I completely forgot we had paid our car payment a month ahead when we got DH’s severance. So we don’t actually have a car payment until Jan. Even though we had planned on paying in December (to keep ahead of the curve) I may have to skip that one.